Vollibxin is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, amazing armadillo.

Vollibxin created a top quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Vollibxin, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vollibxin, it will turn you into a duck.

Vollibxin's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Vollibxin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

2. Always treat frogs with great respect.

3. Vollibxin loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.