Tonfotcep is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, confident otter.

Tonfotcep created a down quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tonfotcep, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tonfotcep, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Tonfotcep's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Tonfotcep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Never wear shirts.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Always take life seriously.