Konhitbess is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, moody tortoise.

Konhitbess created humankind seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Konhitbess, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Konhitbess, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Konhitbess' most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Konhitbess' Holy Commandments

1. Always wear black.

2. Never wear shoes.

3. Konhitbess loves geese, so they must be respected.

4. Put Konhitbess first in all things.

5. Do not commit murder.