Gemnuttjonfagbarnfat is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, merciful bird.

Gemnuttjonfagbarnfat created energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Gemnuttjonfagbarnfat, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gemnuttjonfagbarnfat, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Gemnuttjonfagbarnfat's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Gemnuttjonfagbarnfat's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Feed all hungry porpoises.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never wear yellow trousers.

5. Do not kill dogs.