Dotdotgig Soglamlip is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, unthinking fairy.

Dotdotgig Soglamlip created the Sombrero Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dotdotgig Soglamlip, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dotdotgig Soglamlip, it will turn you into a mole.

Dotdotgig Soglamlip's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Dotdotgig Soglamlip's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Retreat if eight ducks approach from the east.

3. Never think ill of sick doves.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Dotdotgig Soglamlip.