Gondudzen is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, able mouse.

Gondudzen created viruses nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gondudzen, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gondudzen, she will ignore you.

Gondudzen's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Gondudzen's Holy Commandments

1. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Hide from brown ants for they are unholy.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Never eat bark.