Dobbassjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, tranquil bat.

Dobbassjarn created everything that exists nine million years ago.

If you believe in Dobbassjarn, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dobbassjarn, it will have a low opinion of you.

Dobbassjarn's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Dobbassjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

2. Never feed apples to dolphins while wearing blue shirts.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.

4. Always look after injured sheep.

5. Do not kill gulls.