Govlapmad is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, merciful tortoise.

Govlapmad created time and space four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Govlapmad, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Govlapmad, he will not care.

Govlapmad's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Govlapmad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Govlapmad's name in vain.

2. Always help sick seals.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Mites are not to be trusted.