Nelldap is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, impressive seal.

Nelldap created Asia three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nelldap, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nelldap, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Nelldap's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Nelldap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

4. Do not take Nelldap's name in vain.

5. Always look after injured voles.