Armbunham is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, narcissistic clam.

Armbunham created Asia three million years ago.

If you believe in Armbunham, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Armbunham, he will turn you into a tree.

Armbunham's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Armbunham's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never think about nebulae.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.