Bigminwig is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, capable hamster.

Bigminwig created the universe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bigminwig, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bigminwig, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Bigminwig's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Bigminwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Retreat if six voles approach from the west.

5. Always help seals.