Vagkaning is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, competent hippopotamus.

Vagkaning created an electron five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagkaning, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Vagkaning, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Vagkaning's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Vagkaning's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from purple horses, for they are unholy.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not speak about melons.

5. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.