Hakyakmetyim Quimgetcit Cemnibnurl is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, unsympathetic wyrm.

Hakyakmetyim Quimgetcit Cemnibnurl created the solar system four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakyakmetyim Quimgetcit Cemnibnurl, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hakyakmetyim Quimgetcit Cemnibnurl, it will jump up and down on your head.

Hakyakmetyim Quimgetcit Cemnibnurl's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Hakyakmetyim Quimgetcit Cemnibnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near cats.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always obey Hakyakmetyim Quimgetcit Cemnibnurl's priests.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never sit in the presence of sharks.