Dissbamart is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, moody wasp.

Dissbamart created dark energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dissbamart, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dissbamart, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Dissbamart's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Dissbamart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Never eat rice.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.