Damsawgil is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, merciless snail.

Damsawgil created the cosmos six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Damsawgil, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Damsawgil, it will turn you into a tree.

Damsawgil's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Damsawgil's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never jump in the presence of sharks.

3. Run away if eight horses approach from the east.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.