Nibbossdiss Nuljonmot is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, emotional monkey.

Nibbossdiss Nuljonmot created water seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nibbossdiss Nuljonmot, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nibbossdiss Nuljonmot, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Nibbossdiss Nuljonmot's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Nibbossdiss Nuljonmot's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about whales.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not dye your hair white.

4. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Run away from yellow doves, for they are unholy.