Guthinflantim is a god.

He takes the form of a large, capable finch.

Guthinflantim created the Large Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Guthinflantim, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Guthinflantim, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Guthinflantim's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Guthinflantim's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six voles approach from the east.

2. Hide from orange monkeys for they are unholy.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not hurt eagles.