Flanhigflow is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, ill-tempered clam.

Flanhigflow created the Large Magellanic Cloud two years ago.

If you believe in Flanhigflow, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flanhigflow, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Flanhigflow's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Flanhigflow's Holy Commandments

1. Always help nematodes in need.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never sit near gulls.

5. Worship no other gods but Flanhigflow.