Battammot is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, all-knowing fly.

Battammot created humankind three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Battammot, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Battammot, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Battammot's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Battammot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt otters.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.