Tarpbonbud is a god.
It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, idiotic
beaver.
Tarpbonbud created tapeworms six trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Tarpbonbud, it will visit you to thank you.
If you do not believe in
Tarpbonbud, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.
Tarpbonbud's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.
Tarpbonbud's Holy Commandments1. Do not speak about tomatoes.
2. Worship no other gods but Tarpbonbud.
3. Always help seals in need.
4. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.
5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.