Sabzenved is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, bad-tempered alligator.

Sabzenved created parasitic wasps five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sabzenved, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sabzenved, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Sabzenved's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Sabzenved's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Never laugh in the presence of foxes.

5. Do not listen to music.