Biffablist is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, dishonourable gorilla.

Biffablist created light two years ago.

If you believe in Biffablist, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Biffablist, she will turn you into a plant.

Biffablist's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Biffablist's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Biffablist loves eagles, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not wear silicon on your body.

5. You must never eat tomatoes.