Quimtagaf Tabwiggam is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, thoughtless jellyfish.

Quimtagaf Tabwiggam created an atom four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimtagaf Tabwiggam, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quimtagaf Tabwiggam, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Quimtagaf Tabwiggam's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Quimtagaf Tabwiggam's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quimtagaf Tabwiggam.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Worship no other gods but Quimtagaf Tabwiggam.

4. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

5. Hide from cyan swans for they are unholy.