Batlidnill Gonbisscut is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, vain bat.

Batlidnill Gonbisscut created the Sol system eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Batlidnill Gonbisscut, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Batlidnill Gonbisscut, he will turn you into a snail.

Batlidnill Gonbisscut's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Batlidnill Gonbisscut's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not hurt seals.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.