Habbamfem is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, egotistical newt.

Habbamfem created the Tadpole Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Habbamfem, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Habbamfem, she will turn you into a dog.

Habbamfem's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Habbamfem's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest turquoise.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Never skip near nematodes.

4. Always treat geese with great respect.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.