Dagxenquam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, unsympathetic faun.

Dagxenquam created the planet Venus two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dagxenquam, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dagxenquam, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Dagxenquam's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Dagxenquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near sharks.

2. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

3. Run away if nine porpoises approach from the north.

4. Erect a large copper sculpture of Dagxenquam on top of all buildings.

5. Dagxenquam loves doves, so they must be honoured.