Betcuncen is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, ill-tempered parrot.

Betcuncen created the planet Earth seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Betcuncen, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Betcuncen, she will turn you into a duck.

Betcuncen's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Betcuncen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Betcuncen's name in vain.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.