Vagmotbig is a god.

She takes the form of a large, grumpy hyena.

Vagmotbig created the solar system five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagmotbig, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vagmotbig, she will strike you with lightening.

Vagmotbig's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Vagmotbig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Vagmotbig's name in vain.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Vagmotbig.

3. Always obey Vagmotbig's priests.

4. Vagmotbig loves mites, so they must be respected.

5. Put Vagmotbig first in all things.