Wanbenteen is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, cheerful whale.

Wanbenteen created light nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wanbenteen, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Wanbenteen, he will ignore you.

Wanbenteen's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Wanbenteen's Holy Commandments

1. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Erect three lead sculptures of Wanbenteen on top of important buildings.

3. Run away if seven dolphins approach from the west.

4. Put Wanbenteen first in all things.

5. Do not make images of living things.