Fumbenquagcat is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, tiresome lizard.

Fumbenquagcat created a Higgs boson nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fumbenquagcat, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fumbenquagcat, he will jump up and down on your head.

Fumbenquagcat's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Fumbenquagcat's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back magenta.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Retreat if three sharks approach from the north.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never think about gravity.