Fubsugvad is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, grumpy pigeon.

Fubsugvad created bats six million years ago.

If you believe in Fubsugvad, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fubsugvad, he will turn you into a puffin.

Fubsugvad's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Fubsugvad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

2. Run away if four snakes approach from the north.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not wear brown clothing.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.