Mobzogcab is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, confident shark.

Mobzogcab created a top quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Mobzogcab, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Mobzogcab, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Mobzogcab's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Mobzogcab's Holy Commandments

1. Put Mobzogcab first in all things.

2. Never eat nuts.

3. Never feed limes to rats while wearing orange scarves.

4. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always pray immersed in water.