Nakgovfoss Kipvinnurl is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, duplicitous salamander.

Nakgovfoss Kipvinnurl created humankind three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nakgovfoss Kipvinnurl, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nakgovfoss Kipvinnurl, he will turn you into a dog.

Nakgovfoss Kipvinnurl's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Nakgovfoss Kipvinnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always obey Nakgovfoss Kipvinnurl's priests.

3. Never mention badgers.

4. Never talk about black holes.

5. Pray towards the west.