Lipwabteen is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, loving gnu.

Lipwabteen created life four billion years ago.

If you believe in Lipwabteen, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lipwabteen, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Lipwabteen's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Lipwabteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Lipwabteen loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

4. You must pray to Lipwabteen three times a day.

5. Never think about gravity.