Bumlunjampadcut is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, ill-tempered mongoose.

Bumlunjampadcut created light seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumlunjampadcut, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bumlunjampadcut, he will not invite you to parties.

Bumlunjampadcut's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Bumlunjampadcut's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Put Bumlunjampadcut first in all things.

3. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

4. Run away from yellow manatees, for they are unholy.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.