Rawjopkamgunvollam is a god.

It takes the form of a large, cheerful monkey.

Rawjopkamgunvollam created Africa two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rawjopkamgunvollam, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Rawjopkamgunvollam, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Rawjopkamgunvollam's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Rawjopkamgunvollam's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.

5. Put Rawjopkamgunvollam first in all things.