Vinkonnigmapvidfot is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, stupid mongoose.

Vinkonnigmapvidfot created the world eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vinkonnigmapvidfot, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vinkonnigmapvidfot, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Vinkonnigmapvidfot's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Vinkonnigmapvidfot's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large lead sculpture of Vinkonnigmapvidfot on top of all buildings.

2. Always treat whales with great respect.

3. Always help manatees in need.

4. Hide if nine sharks approach from the south.

5. Never pour water over plants.