Motcabcum is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, conceited goose.

Motcabcum created a down quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Motcabcum, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Motcabcum, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Motcabcum's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Motcabcum's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. You must never eat strawberries.