Sasbifdit Lopvonciss is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, blissful gerbil.

Sasbifdit Lopvonciss created Africa two years ago.

If you believe in Sasbifdit Lopvonciss, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Sasbifdit Lopvonciss, he will not invite you to parties.

Sasbifdit Lopvonciss' most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Sasbifdit Lopvonciss' Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Run away from pink dolphins, for they are unholy.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Run away if nine swans approach from the north.

5. Do not shave your legs.