Abfenpig is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, passionate wombat.

Abfenpig created tapeworms six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Abfenpig, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Abfenpig, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Abfenpig's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Abfenpig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Run away if seven seals approach from the south.

3. Abfenpig must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.