Wiggutxen is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, witty swan.

Wiggutxen created gold eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wiggutxen, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wiggutxen, she will turn you into a puffin.

Wiggutxen's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Wiggutxen's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large tin sculpture of Wiggutxen on top of all buildings.

2. Worship no other gods but Wiggutxen.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always obey Wiggutxen's priests.

5. Voles are not to be trusted.