Cubtundob is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, narcissistic giraffe.

Cubtundob created the Large Magellanic Cloud two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cubtundob, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cubtundob, he will try to impress you with trees.

Cubtundob's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Cubtundob's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at stars.

2. Cubtundob must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not drink water in black rooms.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Pray towards the east.