Flisstiptam is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, dishonest dugong.

Flisstiptam created the Sombrero Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flisstiptam, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Flisstiptam, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Flisstiptam's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Flisstiptam's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from orange mites for they are unholy.

2. Flisstiptam loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not wear iron on your body.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Flisstiptam must be the most important thing in your life.