Lapmipmig is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, wise wren.

Lapmipmig created humanity six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lapmipmig, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lapmipmig, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Lapmipmig's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Lapmipmig's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention moths.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

5. Run away from cyan ants, for they are unholy.