Zedsafwat is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, self-assured porpoise.

Zedsafwat created water seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedsafwat, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Zedsafwat, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Zedsafwat's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Zedsafwat's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always look after injured squirrels.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.