Arftapquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, deceitful deer.

Arftapquaf created Africa four million years ago.

If you believe in Arftapquaf, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Arftapquaf, she will jump up and down on your head.

Arftapquaf's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Arftapquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Pray towards the south.