Gatjennur is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, overgenerous hare.

Gatjennur created parasitic wasps four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gatjennur, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gatjennur, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Gatjennur's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Gatjennur's Holy Commandments

1. Snails are not to be trusted.

2. Hide from blue snakes for they are unholy.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.