Riplarpspag is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, resourceful seal.

Riplarpspag created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Riplarpspag, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Riplarpspag, it will destroy your home planet.

Riplarpspag's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Riplarpspag's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat manatees with great respect.

2. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.