Bestzignib is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, charitable dove.

Bestzignib created the planet Jupiter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bestzignib, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bestzignib, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bestzignib's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Bestzignib's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not hurt snails.