Jantonsis is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, happy hydra.

Jantonsis created the planet Jupiter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jantonsis, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jantonsis, he will send minions to preach to you.

Jantonsis' most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Jantonsis' Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine shrews approach from the west.

2. Always look after injured badgers.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Put Jantonsis first in all things.

5. Never talk about amino acids.